Translated by the Mystery Ah Beng for those Engrish not powderful. This is in Singlish (ie hokkien + malay + english + rubbish). Originally done by moi but posted up on mrbrown's blog (coz last time dunno how to brog). Enjoy. (Tip: it helps to read it out loud)
Disclaimer: Dont sue me if my singlish sucks.
The Architect - Hello, Neo.
Ah Neo, ho bo?
Neo - Who are you?
Lur si siang?
The Architect - I am the Architect. I created the matrix. I've been waiting for you. You have many questions, and although the process has altered your consciousness, you remain irrevocably human.
Wah si zho chu eh lang. Wah zho matrix. Wah tan lur jin ku liao. Lur ai mng wah jin zwei ming kia. lur tum po xiao xiao, ta pi ya si lang.
Ergo, some of my answers you will understand, and some of them you will not. Concordantly, while your first question may be the most pertinent, you may or may not realize it is also irrelevant.
And den, wah kong eh ming kia, wu eh ming kia lur eh sai ming pei, wu eh ming lur bway sai. Concordantly, lur eh seng ai wah kong eh ming kia ka na jin zong yao, ta bi xi bo liao eh.
Neo - Why am I here?
Wah ti ji dao zho xi mi gui?
The Architect - Your life is the sum of a remainder of an unbalanced equation inherent to the programming of the matrix. You are the eventuality of an anomaly, which despite my sincerest efforts I have been unable to eliminate from what is otherwise a harmony of mathematical precision.
Lur si matrix bo ho sei sekali an ni kua eh. Wah bei sai an ni zhun zhun.
The Architect - While it remains a burden to sedulously avoid it, it is not unexpected, and thus not beyond a measure of control. Which has led you, inexorably, here.
Wah siam ya bei sai, control ya bei sai. Ta pi lur lai liao so ho say liao lor.
Neo - You haven't answered my question.
Lur kong xi mi gui?
The Architect - Quite right. Interesting. That was quicker than the others.
Dio! Lur kong wei kiang! Bi e nang kin.
*The responses of the other Ones appear on the monitors: "Others? What others? How many? Answer me!"*
Xi mi sai! Gui eh lang? Ga lim peh kong!
The Architect - The matrix is older than you know. I prefer counting from the emergence of one integral anomaly to the emergence of the next, in which case this is the sixth version.
Matrix jin jia lao. Wah xio eng kai wu luck eh matrix liao.
*Again, the responses of the other Ones appear on the monitors: "Five versions? Three? I've been lied too. This is bull****.*
Gor eh? Sar? Gong pian way. Gu sai!
Neo: There are only two possible explanations: either no one told me, or no one knows.
Hmm bo lang ka lim peh kong or bo lang zai ya.
The Architect - Precisely. As you are undoubtedly gathering, the anomaly's systemic, creating fluctuations in even the most simplistic equations.
Dio! lur xi matrix long zong sa lah eh ming kia rojak liao then an ni kwan.
*Once again, the responses of the other Ones appear on the monitors: "You can't control me! **** you! I'm going to kill you! You can't make me do anything!*
Lur bay sai control wah! K** N* N** B**! Wah ho lur si! Lur mai kio wa zo ming kia.
Neo - Choice. The problem is choice.
Choose. Xi choose hor lang zho pai.
*The scene cuts to Trinity fighting an agent, and then back to the Architects room*
Chio bu sio pah.
The Architect - The first matrix I designed was quite naturally perfect, it was a work of art, flawless, sublime. A triumph equaled only by its monumental failure.
Wah seng zho eh matrix. Swee swee. Ho kwa. Ta pi kenna twa zong.
The inevitability of its doom is as apparent to me now as a consequence of the imperfection inherent in every human being, thus I redesigned it based on your history to more accurately reflect the varying grotesqueries of your nature.
Ji zhun wah zaiya si in wei lur lang xim bo ho. Wah yah an ni kwan program yi eh matrix tum po bo ho lor.
However, I was again frustrated by failure. I have since come to understand that the answer eluded me because it required a lesser mind, or perhaps a mind less bound by the parameters of perfection.
Ko ji pai, zho ka twa zong then bo hwa hee. Wah then zai ka ki bwei ming pei eh. Wah eng kai eng bo liao tao nao zo ho.
Thus, the answer was stumbled upon by another, an intuitive program, initially created to investigate certain aspects of the human psyche.
Thus, ji eh hor paat eh program eng kai zo pat eh ming kia then hu lang keng pwa to then ming pei eh.
If I am the father of the matrix, she would undoubtedly be its mother.
Lim pei si matrix lau peh. Yi xi lao bu lor.
Neo - The Oracle.
Auntie.
The Architect - Please. As I was saying, she stumbled upon a solution whereby nearly 99.9% of all test subjects accepted the program, as long as they were given a choice, even if they were only aware of the choice at a near unconscious level. While this answer functioned, it was obviously fundamentally flawed, thus creating the otherwise contradictory systemic anomaly, that if left unchecked might threaten the system itself. Ergo, those that refused the program, while a minority, if unchecked, would constitute an escalating probability of disaster.
Ho sim lah, wah eh hiao liao. If lim pei hor lur nang choose, lur nang wu 99.9% gong eh sai. Ta pi an ni kwan zho ming kia, eh sai wu tai ji eh.
Neo - This is about Zion.
Zi eh si wah eh chu eh ming kia! Jai-en!
The Architect - You are here because Zion is about to be destroyed. Its every living inhabitant terminated, its entire existence eradicated.
Lur lai in wei Jai-en ai zi-ba-bo liao. Long zhong nang hor wah zho xi!
Neo - Bull****.
Gu sai!
*The responses of the other Ones appear on the monitors:
"Bull****!"*
Gu Sai!
The Architect - Denial is the most predictable of all human responses. But, rest assured, this will be the sixth time we have destroyed it, and we have become exceedingly efficient at it.
Lur nang ta pai gong bo siang sin. Ta pi wah nang ya ti ti hor lur nang xi. Ji jun zho ka swee swee.
*Scene cuts to Trinity fighting an agent, and then back to the Architects room.*
Chio bu sio pa then tng lai.
The Architect - The function of the One is now to return to the source, allowing a temporary dissemination of the code you carry, reinserting the prime program. After which you will be required to select from the matrix 23 individuals, 16 female, 7 male, to rebuild Zion.
Ah Wan eng kai balek kumpung then ka lim peh gong ming kia. Jai-en bo liao then lur eh sai choose 23 lang. 16 za bor, 7 ta por zo sin eh jai-en.
Failure to comply with this process will result in a cataclysmic system crash killing everyone connected to the matrix, which coupled with the extermination of Zion will ultimately result in the extinction of the entire human race.
Bo jo jiu xi long zhong system lang gah. Then long jai-en lang xi.
Neo - You won't let it happen, you can't. You need human beings to survive.
Lur bwey sai an ni kwan zho. Bwa gum. Lur bo lang bwei sai mah.
The Architect - There are levels of survival we are prepared to accept. However, the relevant issue is whether or not you are ready to accept the responsibility for the death of every human being in this world.
Mm si bwei sai, xi tum po kan kor lor. Ta pi, lur ai sabo long zhong lang xi meh?
*The Architect presses a button on a pen that he is holding, and images of people from all over the matrix appear on the monitors*
TV wu jin zwei lang.
The Architect - It is interesting reading your reactions. Your five predecessors were by design based on a similar predication, a contingent affirmation that was meant to create a profound attachment to the rest of your species, facilitating the function of the one. While the others experienced this in a very general way, your experience is far more specific. Vis-a-vis, love.
Wah kwa lur ji ho kwa. Lur eh gor eh peng yew ya xi ka lur an ni kwan. Kwa TV then bwei sai sabo tio bo?
*Images of Trinity fighting the agent from Neos dream appear on the monitors*
Chio bu sio pah ji TV.
Neo - Trinity.
Lianity!
The Architect - Apropos, she entered the matrix to save your life at the cost of her own.
Yi ka ki jip matrix ai kew lur eh.
Neo - No!
Bei sai!
The Architect - Which brings us at last to the moment of truth, wherein the fundamental flaw is ultimately expressed, and the anomaly revealed as both beginning, and end.
Start eh xi zhun zho bo ho then liao eh xi zhun ya zho bo ho.
There are two doors. The door to your right leads to the source, and the salvation of Zion. The door to the left leads back to the matrix, to her, and to the end of your species.
Wu neng eh mng. Ji eh hor zion ho sei. Jia chew peng kur Lianity eh tao kew yi.
As you adequately put, the problem is choice. But we already know what you're going to do, don't we?
Lur gong wei gao. Xi choice then bo ho mah. Ta pi wah nang eh zai lur ah zho si mi tio boh?
Already I can see the chain reaction, the chemical precursors that signal the onset of emotion, designed specifically to overwhelm logic, and reason. An emotion that is already blinding you from the simple, and obvious truth: she is going to die, and there is nothing that you can do to stop it.
Wah kwa lur eh zha bor peng yew ai xi liao ta pi Lur ai ka ani kwan bei xai kwa yi ba lu xi liao.
*Neo walks to the door on his left*
Kia jia chew.
The Architect - Humph. Hope, it is the quintessential human delusion, simultaneously the source of your greatest strength, and your greatest weakness.
Hai yah. Hope xi zo lang eh pian ming kia ta pi hor lang wu lat ka bo lat.
Neo - If I were you, I would hope that we don't meet again.
Lur mai hor lim pei kwar lur or wah eh hoot lur.
The Architect - We won't.
Kwa bwei tio liao lah.
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That's it. Whew.
